Missing my son's birth.

Will visiting his younger brother in the NICU

In March of 2018, my life got turned upside down as I received a text I never thought I would get.

“I’m at VCU. Baby was born.”

The baby wasn’t due for another ten weeks! Squeezing in one last business trip was supposed to be ok.

As I stared down at my phone on the tarmac in Charlotte, all I could do was stare in shock. I was a dad again. And I wasn’t there. I felt like shouting for joy that he was here while at the same time I was freaked out as immediately I began to worry on how healthy could he possibly be being born this early.

I remember turning to the person sitting crammed in next to me. I kind of mumbled I’m a dad again. I think he thought I was crazy. Maybe I was. Had to all be a bad dream.

I spent the next several hours waiting for a delayed plane and piecing the story together from Ellen and her sister. Apparently, Ellen barely made it to the hospital. I can only imagine the craziness of that ambulance ride. To not be there for my wife and my other kids. Life isn’t supposed to go like this.

We would end up spending the next seventy days in the NICU. The nurses and doctors were amazing. The moments in between trapped in that small room was honestly an escape from life. Being there for little J seemed to prioritize the rest of our lives.

Going through this experience was a clear reminder that I really wasn’t in control of anything. All I can do is try and do my best and hope that I get placed in situations to make life better for myself and those around me. Sometimes I just won’t be able to and that is ok as there are amazing people out there that can and will step up.

Several years later I am happy to say that baby J is a happy and healthy little guy. I am also grateful to say that we have lifelong friends from this journey that we will always cherish.