Tough Conversations

Game chat with senior captain Jalen Banks - 2020 Season

As a white male it is often easy. Easy to stay silent. Easy to accept the way life is in America. Easy to push off what we should do today for another day. The truth is we can’t do that anymore. It’s time we stand up and show our “fam” that we are here and can and will do better. We must.

I debated being silent. 

I can’t contribute to the problem and silence does that. Being a husband, a father, a business owner, and a coach are all important roles to set an example in. So, I need to try.

It is time for those difficult conversations. The ones where you challenge your loved ones. The ones where you teach your young ones. The ones where you just listen and learn.

I love basketball. That is no secret. I miss it. But one of the things I miss the most is the community. Virginia has a rich and loving basketball community. The groups I have participated in, primarily in the AAU circuit, are predominantly black. I love it. It has given my family an opportunity to meet some amazing people throughout Richmond and the Hampton Roads area. Amazing coaches. Loving fathers. Caring volunteers that love and serve our youth. It is a community that leads with “Fam” and is rich with passion, support and love. It is an amazing community to be a part of.

One of the things I have missed the most due to Covid are the hugs. The hugs with amazing people. Strong, confident men and women that inspire kids and care for their families in ways that often put me to shame. They are family. 

Where I live is predominantly white. The good thing is that it is changing. Smart and successful families that have fought the system and been a change agent are continuing to move in. My kids now get the opportunity to have friends of different race. Something I really didn’t get growing up. Something I value highly. I am grateful for my neighbors. 

So now is the time for tough conversations.

Well, this is where I started today. And I stress started. I reached out and had conversations with my friends. I texted those I could. I let them know I love them. I then made a list of things I can start doing next. Dinner for one family. A basketball training program for another. Support of a local business. Contributions as a company to assist the needs of a hurting community. A start.

I think we all need to start where we can. Make it personal and start the change. And then do it again and again. 

I hope the all of the players on my high school team this year know how much I love them. I am especially grateful for the five strong black young men that I got to coach. The ability to rub shoulders with them this past school year was a blessing. They are smart young men with so much love and beauty to offer to the world. I am hopeful that the world gives them that chance. I am hopeful that they will remember how much their coach cares about them. I am hopeful that we all will be able to continue to change the world for their future families. 

So, lets continue to listen and try to open our eyes. Lets spread the love and sincerely look for ways to make this world better.