The value of NO

We all go through the frustrations of hearing the word “No” in life and dealing with the rejections associated with them. Hopes and dreams seem dashed and mild forms of depression are tied to these moments. I wonder though how often do we stop and think about the good things that come out of these moments.

A no can change your heart.
I remember it was a few months after graduating from college and I had put in my first application to work as a designer/web developer for a small commercial shop near Virginia Beach. I had a few small sites under my belt and I knew I had a lot to learn and was just hoping for an opportunity to really dig in and hopefully be surrounded with a few people that could just point me in the right direction to learn and get better. I was hungry, eager to get a full-time job, and naive.

The answer came quick, over the phone. The manager asked if I knew how to hand code. I said I was learning but that I was using Dreamweaver (I didn’t know better… honestly) to assist me. Her unwillingness to meet with me and give me a chance left a mark on me to be sure I would treat others differently… especially the young and hungry. You can’t let experience be the sole indicator in your highering process.

A no can create new relationships.
It was a few months after that I remember getting a contact to get me that first “great” job where I could put my degree to use. This place was perfect. It was a small multimedia shop developing training for different government agencies. It was literally the first place I had come across that had a multimedia designer position — matching perfectly with my multimedia design degree.

Then the no came. Sorry, we just hired some young guy. You would have been perfect though. I then ended up working at a produce company designing water bottle labels and marketing material. I remember thinking that if I had only reached out a week or two earlier, then my life would have been good instead of having a pretty thankless job.

The funny thing is that I still ended up working for that company and group… just three months later. And that young guy is now somebody that has been part of my life for over a decade. We worked there for three years, then another company for 3 more years before starting our biggest venture which has been going strong now for 5 years. The timing of that initial no is just too valuable to my life now.

A no can deepen your resolve.
The interesting thing is that when we were at the second company together, we pitched to the leaders how they could change the department we were in and in turn add another valuable service to their company. I put together a plan where I would be an internal manager of that group and Jeff and I together would drive the change. Then came the no… along with a few comments saying that we were a little young and needed more time before we could take on more responsibility. Running a department, let alone part of a business would just be too hard.

I’m extremely grateful for that no. It literally drove us to start our own company as I know if they had given us a chance that we would have been successful in making it work. And all of the wonderful opportunities and experiences that we’ve had over the past 5 years could have been missed altogether.

Keep pushing.
I still face no quite frequently. Whether it is with a new potential client or even a potential investor passing on an opportunity. In fact, business is full of rejections and you have to learn to be able to handle them. But most tend to have a silver lining… you may just have to make it yourself.

So be grateful for the “no” moments in your life. Drive meaning out of them and push in new directions. You may never know what good may be around the next corner and more times than not, a no is just an opportunity to open up another door. And more than likely, that second door is going to bring more happiness in the long run.